


Shadow Spy

by Torri012



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Guilty Pleasures, Invasion of Privacy, Masturbation, Secret Crush, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torri012/pseuds/Torri012
Summary: Chakotay didn't show up for a briefing with the Captain, so Kathryn went to check on him in his quarters. What she found was certainly NOT what she expected...
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 11
Kudos: 62





	Shadow Spy

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker so please excuse any grammer/spelling mistakes or the lack of decent phrasing. This was an idea that came to me on my way to work and I just had to write it down. Feedback, suggestions and criticism are very welcome :)
> 
> Thank you [itwasadarkandstormynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itwasadarkandstormynight/pseuds/itwasadarkandstormynight) for beta reading ❤🖖

Chakotay, Neelix and Tom had been on an away mission for the last 5 days and Kathryn felt a wave of relief wash over herself when Harry finally told her that the Delta Flyer was heading towards them. They were 2 days late and Kathryn had worried herself sick, fearing that something terrible had happened to them. As soon as the shuttle was in range Commander Chakotay hailed Voyager; apologizing for the delay, reassuring her that they were all well and that nothing - except some stellar interferences that messed with their comm systems - was amiss. The trade negotiations had just taken longer than expected.  
She told them to dock in shuttle bay 1 and report for their medical check up. Neelix and Tom were dismissed after seeing the Doctor and Chakotay was supposed to meet with the Captain for a quick briefing in her ready room… _20 minutes ago._

He was late. Kathryn suspected at first that he was delayed in sick bay, but after checking, the Doctor had informed her that Chakotay had yet to visit him. It was very unlike Chakotay. She tried to comm him several times, but didn't receive an answer. The computer located him in his quarters, but he didn't open the door after she pressed the chime. So Kathryn Janeway let herself into his quarters to find out what was going on.

“Chakotay?”

His living quarters were dark and the only source of light that illuminated the room faintly was coming from the bathroom. As she didn't receive an answer her soft voice broke the silence again.

"Chakotay? Are you alright?"

She slowly crossed through the darkness, past his couch and to his bedroom, towards the light. As she drew closer to the bathroom she could hear running water. She hesitated for a moment, unsure whether she should proceed or not. They were after all his personal quarters and she had no right to be here without his permission. She licked her lips nervously before deciding that as he was home, he would sooner or later come and speak to her in the ready room. She knew he wasn’t the best with keeping time and she would reprimand him for that later. She had just turned round and was about to leave his quarters as a strange sound echoed through the darkened room. It was either a moan or a grunt and a cold shiver ran down her spine. It sounded like someone was in serious pain. Kathryn froze.

Was he hurt?  
Why hadn't he visited the doctor after returning home?

Kathryn stood in the middle of the room for a brief moment, unsure whether to go back and check on him or not. She had after all no right to be here. Yes, they were close, but not _that_ close to just be walking in and out each others quarters unannounced and uninvited. Another moan reached her ears and an uncomfortable feeling made its way into her stomach.

What if he was seriously injured?

Her feet crossed the room faster than she expected. She entered the brightly lit bathroom without announcing her presence. Her eyes scanned the room, desperate to find out what was wrong with him. Before she could open her mouth to call his name the letters drowned in her throat.

Chakotay was standing in the shower, his back facing her.

She knew she should’ve left the room instantly, but her feet refused to move another inch. Her eyes just stared at his naked physique. He leaned against the shower wall with his left hand, showing the flexed muscles running along his arm and down his back. His skin was tanned. Soft streaks of water ran down the entire length of his body, making parts of him shimmer in the bright light. He eyes gaped over his muscular back, down to his firm buttocks. His arse as small but round and vivid images of her hands grabbing both cheeks, digging her nails into it, flashed in front of her eyes. Kathryn swallowed before drawing in a sharp breath to focus her mind. She shouldn’t be here. THIS was most certainly not a situation she should ever see her second in command in.

Then Chakotay shifted slightly and Kathryn's mouth fell wide open when she realized what he was doing. Heat rushed into her cheeks and the air started to feel thick and humid. Chakotay was jacking himself off.

Kathryn swallowed. Hard.

His head was hanging down with his chin almost touching his collarbone. Water dripped down from his wet hair, onto his nose and chin before making its way down to the floor. Chakotay had his eyes pressed shut as if he was deep in thought. All the way, panting through his slightly parted lips while he frantically slid his hand up and down his throbbing erection. This penis was thick and large. She knew he was a tall and broad man, but she never expected him to be this … this … well … _big_. He was well above average and for a brief moment she wondered how he would feel like inside of her.

Kathryn blinked rapidly as she tried to banish her thoughts, all the while watched him as he stroked himself. His hand knew exactly what to do and a faint whimper escaped his lips before he swallowed. He tilted his head back slightly, welcoming the cool water on his face. He was a fine figure of a man and whether Kathryn liked to admit it or not, Chakotay's image before her was attractive.

She forced herself to close her eyes. She should not be seeing this. She needed to leave. Now. Before he detected her presence. Before he noticed her grave violation of his private space and trust.

Kathryn gathered herself before she opened her eyes. She quietly took a deep breath and slowly turned around. She prayed to god that she would make it through the bathroom door without making a single sound and being discovered. She could not even begin to imagine what she could say to get herself out of this situation if he clocked her. Her hand already grasped the door frame and her eyes started to welcome the darkness of his bedroom when his raw voice made her blood freeze.

“Kathryn….”

_Shit._

Panic shot through her veins like a firework. How on earth was she going to talk herself out of this one? Her fingers started to tremble and she let go of the door frame. Kathryn Janeway was not a woman who let her feelings get the better of her, but right now… right now she wished she could die of embarrassment. She wished the ground would just swallow her hole before she had a chance to glance at the shocked look on this face.  
She had been in many uncomfortable situations over the years, but watching her second in command pleasuring himself and then getting caught spying was something that she couldn’t even make up in her dreams. Nervously she licked her lips before she raised both hands in front of her body. It was an unconscious movement which she did every time she needed to calm someone down. She turned round and was about to draw breath for her apology when she realized Chakotay was still facing the wall; eyes still closed. His right hand was still gliding up and down his shaft, but now in a more desperate manner.

If someone were to see her face now it could not hide the confusion as it was written all over her feminine features. Her heart heaved a sign of relief and she let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding. He hadn't seen her. Although she could’ve sworn he had just said her name. Was she starting to imagine things?

Chakotays grip around his cock tightened. She could tell by the flex of his arm muscles. He was now stroking himself in an erratic manner. Then he licked his lips.

“Kathryn…”

His voice was deep, rough, hoarse and desperate.

It shocked Kathryn to the core. Within milliseconds her hand flung up to her face to cover her mouth. Was her second in command just … imagining … _her?_ She silently shook her head in disbelieve. Was she the sexual fantasy he just used for his release?

_Surely not._

Kathryn knew she wasn’t a bad looking woman, but to imagine herself the stuff of ‘liquid dreams and sexual fantasies’ was just absurd. Voyager had its fair share of handsome young female officers who she could never compete with. Perhaps he was thinking of _another_ Kathryn. She knew that beside her there were 2 other Kathryns on board.

_Yes, that must be it._

“Cap…tain….”

His words were no more than a loud gasp, almost covered up completely by the raining sound of the shower, but Kathryns adrenaline heightened senses still picked them up.

_God, damn it._

Her head started to feel dizzy and she could feel the heat building up in between her legs. She needed to leave. She couldn’t think of Chakotay in this way. She was Captain of a stranded starship. She had responsibilities. She knew the moment she destroyed the Caretaker's array that she would end up an old maid. Any hope of a relationship and of sexual fulfilment had died the moment she issued the ‘fire’ command. To think that Chakotay saw her as an object of desire was more than she could handle. They’d set up personal parameters a long time ago on New Earth and she believed - until now - that Chakotay was okay with them. She never imagined him getting aroused by her; of there being anything more than an endearing friendship on his side.

Shame and embarrassment washed over her when she remembered the lonely nights she had sometimes spent in her quarters. After years of abstinence Kathryn was no more a sexually driven person, but when the stress got to her more than she liked, she too sometimes indulged herself with self pleasure. She imagined Justin or Mark most of the time, but ever-so-often images of Chakotay creped into her fantasies. In her fantasies he was doing things to her that neither of the former two did. Things she would probably never do in real life because she wouldn’t even dare to voice them. She felt ashamed of herself every single time. Hated herself for thinking that way about him and for doing what she did to relieve stress, which often caused her to lay in bed awake for hours.

She was his Captain. His superior. His friend.  
Nothing more.

Fantasies like this shouldn’t even be allowed into one’s mind. And acting on those fantasies like this, even alone, shouldn’t be _done._ It wasn’t right.

Apparently Chakotay too was walking a narrow and dangerous path and she knew, that if their paths ever crossed the results would be catastrophic. It would compromise their mission and the crews safety. She would break Starfleet protocol and lose respect of the people that surrounded her… and she couldn’t allow that to happen. She needed to leave his quarters before he realized she was there. Before he saw her staring at his wet naked body… _fucking himself while thinking about her._

She inhaled deeply, then masked her face with her professional ‘captains façade’ and left his quarters post-haste. His sick bay check-up and the briefing could wait. The further away she walked from his quarters the more she dreaded having to face him later today. He hadn’t seen her but still, _she_ knew. _She_ saw.  
Suddenly all she wanted to do was to escape. Escape from what she’s witnessed; from her thoughts; from _him._

The chirping sound of her comm-badge made her almost jump out of her skin.

“Bridge to Captain Janeway. We’ve encountered an unidentified vessel in grid 473 which is heading straight towards us.”

“I’m on my way, Ensign.”

By the time she reached the bridge the approaching vessel had issued repeated threats.

“Status”, she demanded as she sat down in her captain’s chair.

“The vessel is charging weapons, Captain.”

Kathryn nodded. “All hands to battle stations. Yellow alert.“

She watched as her crew took their assigned positions while she tried to banish all thoughts of Chakotay. Of his actions, of the way he viewed her and of his… _manhood._  
She wouldn’t allow herself to think of him in any other way than her loyal commander and valued friend. She couldn’t help it if he … _envisioned_ … himself being with her, may that be only sexually or emotionally. She wouldn’t back down from the parameters she had set on New Earth. She had a reputation to uphold and a crew to get home.

She could do this. She was the Captain. It was her job.  
She was Starfleets darling who followed in her father’s footsteps, a captain who charted new territory and a woman who showed the quadrant who NOT to mess with. She was brave and capable and had an iron will. No Borg, no Kazon, no Vidiian and _especially no Maquis with a cute smile and adorable dimples_ could break her determination.

She was, after all, Kathryn Janeway.

\- fin -


End file.
